


the master mistress of my passion

by forochel



Category: Super Junior
Genre: Crack, F/M, Genderswap, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-01-05
Updated: 2010-01-05
Packaged: 2017-11-02 23:06:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,033
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/374376
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/forochel/pseuds/forochel





	the master mistress of my passion

"I," breathed Sungmin, "am _so cute_."

Kyuhyun stared at him. Her. There wasn't anything appreciably different about Sungmin, except for - well, the breasts. And smaller shoulders. Like, really, everyone thought Sungmin was small and cute, but that was only because he had the ability to project Small and Cute like some kind of glamour from Harry Potter, when in reality he had shoulders _that_ broad. But now – now Sungmin had narrow shoulders; was slender and even shorter (which would be funny once Kyuhyun regained his sanity) and really small and cute. Hence the point about Kyuhyun regaining his sanity.

It was a relief to know that some things about Sungmin would never change, though, like his vanity and self-confidence and being pretty.

Oh, god, his _sanity_.

 

*

 

It was only a few days later that Kyuhyun found out that turning into girl was very much par for course in SME.

“ _Kyuhyun_ ”, Sungmin said insistently, “Do _you_ think I’m cute?”

Kyuhyun had watched in dread as Sungmin turned away from where she had been examining herself in the mirror and advanced upon him, hips swaying and glossy lips pursed together in a small moue and he really needed to stop this train of thought before something overwhelmingly embarrassing happened.

“Hyung!” Kyuhyun burst out nervously.

“Yes?” Sungmin asked sweetly.

“Uh,” Kyuhyun realised at this point that planning was always a good thing, “Uh. What. Management?” He squeaked as Sungmin cocked her hip against the edge of his table, a move that would have been innocuous had Sungmin still been all lean, straight lines from neck to ankle. Sungmin blinked slowly, parsing out Kyuhyun’s question.

“Are you asking me what management will do?”

“Um. Yes?”

Sungmin laughed, throwing herself backwards onto Kyuhyun’s bed; Kyuhyun resigned himself to a fate of being constantly semi-aroused and watched Sungmin bounce in previously unbouncy places.

“Oh, Kyuhyunnie-ah,” giggled Sungmin once she’d caught her breath, “Management are _totally_ used to this!”

“What.” Kyuhyun said flatly.

“I think Teukie-oppa turned into a girl a few years ago?” Sungmin said thoughtfully. “But of course –”

“Please don’t say oppa,” Kyuhyun interrupted in tones of deep despair. Sungmin blinked again, and tilted her head.

“Why not? It _is_ gender appropriate, after all,” Sungmin said with a meaningful smile. Kyuhyun made a noise that sounded distinctly like strangled geese, “But _hyung_ , you’re a boy! Like, actually. A boy.”

“A boy!” cried Sungmin with glee, “I’m a _real boy_! But right now I’m a girl, Kyu – so really, you should call me noona.”

“What.” Kyuhyun had apparently turned into a broken recorder.

And then Kyuhyun suddenly recalled what had previously been said to him and said in tones of deep horror, “Does this mean that I will turn into a girl too?”

Sungmin gave him a look of deep reproach. “It’s not _that_ bad, Kyuhyun.”

Kyuhyun looked at Sungmin, sitting on the bed, oversized pink sweater slipping off one shoulder and boxer shorts slipping down her hips to bare flashes of pale skin, and thought to himself that it was very, _very_ bad indeed.

 

*

 

Perhaps he ought to have paid attention to the phrasing of Sungmin’s hidden command earlier that day when she had said “You’re taking me shopping once we’re done blocking for this song!” He had been too busy trying to memorise how to do that side-shuffle-wiggly-arm thing, though, which Sungmin had naturally got down pat within the first five tries.

“Aren’t you paying?” Sungmin whispered up at him, curling her fingers into his shirtsleeves; Kyuhyun valiantly ignored the press of her curves up against his side.

“What?” he hissed back urgently, glancing around warily for any impending fangirl attack, but was disappointed with the amused tittering of the salesgirls. Did none of them recognise him? he wondered, because he was quite sure that a beanie pulled low down over his eyes did not suffice, no matter what his hyungs said.

“ _You’re_ taking me shopping,” Sungmin breathed, “Therefore you should be paying.”

“…What,” he said flatly, but Sungmin had already released him and rocked onto the balls of her feet to press a kiss to his cheek and whisper “Thanks!” into his ear before bouncing off.

Kyuhyun felt ridiculously tall and manly, for someone who had just been roundly manipulated by a girl who wasn’t even really a girl.

Then he realised exactly which rack Sungmin was perusing, and ran after her. “Are you _sure_ , hyung – noona,” he corrected himself hastily as Sungmin glared at him in warning, “You won’t need that for very long, will you?”

“Nonsense!” Sungmin said cheerfully, “Someone else might need it when I’m done with this.”

Kyuhyun gave up his money for lost and sat down on a low sofa, evidently placed there for long-suffering male companions. He was sure the accompanied were normally actually female, though.

Sungmin had gone off ahead to buy them ice lollies, abandoning Kyuhyun to the amusement of the sales ladies at the counter. The dignified middle-aged lady with grey in her hair smiled at him, eyes warm, as she scanned the many, many articles of clothing that Sungmin had decided were absolutely essential to her new wardrobe.

“You make a very nice couple,” she said.

“Very cute!” added her colleague as she packaged the skirts and shirts and scraps of cloth that looked neither like shirts nor skirts into paper bags.

Kyuhyun spluttered incoherently, before giving up (he seemed to be doing this a lot, actually) and handing his credit card over. He could feel his face getting warm as the ladies crinkled their eyes at him – he could just about _feel_ them cooing at his back as he left the store, laden down with tastefully designed bags, and cursed Sungmin inwardly for doing this to him.

 

*

 

“I think we should go to a bar,” Sungmin said a few days later, “I have pair of jeans I want to try out.”

Eunhyuk stared uncomprehendingly. “Can’t you just do that here?”He asked, and was rewarded with withering looks from both Sungmin and Heechul. Kibum coughed, “I don’t think that’s what Sungmin meant, hyung.”

“Well, obviously not,” Heechul snorted, and waved his hand imperiously at Hankyung. “You go with them,” he said, “And if they get into trouble tell me about it. _In detail._ ”

Kyuhyun tried to remain small and quiet and inconspicuous in his corner, but was betrayed when Eunhyuk said, “They?”

“Aren’t you coming, Kyuhyunnie-ah?” Sungmin asked sweetly. Kibum patted Kyuhyun on the back sympathetically.

That night, the three of them went to a club that was neither well known enough for the paparazzi to dog nor dingy enough to be blacklisted by the company, and the moment they stepped through the doors Sungmin disappeared into the gyrating crowd without so much as a by-your-leave. Kyuhyun looked despairingly at the sea of dancing people, and shuffled closer to Hankyung, who was looking particularly benevolent. Like a Laughing Buddha.

“You look like you’ve never been to a club before, Kyu,” Hankyung said with amusement.

“I rarely do. Mathlete, remember?” Kyuhyun said wryly. Hankyung’s eyes crinkled in acknowledgement of the old joke, and he led the way to the oasis of relative quiet around the long bar. They found available seats and slid in, ordering their drinks and then scanning the crowd for Sungmin.

“I feel like I’m babysitting my errant wild-child little sister,” Kyuhyun muttered, nodding his thanks to the bartender as their drinks arrived. Hankyung raised an eyebrow at Kyuhyun over his glass, “I hardly think ‘little sister’ is appropriate here.”

“I suppose not,” said Kyuhyun gloomily, “Seeing as Sungmin’s neither younger than me nor really a girl.”

“...That was not what I meant.”

“I wish I’d just gone and done math,” Kyuhyun said, ignoring Hankyung, “Math makes sense. If you have too many variables you use a matrix. Your sequences diverge or converge in the end. There is always a proof; you just can’t find it yet. Sure, there are approximations but _no one turns into a girl_. Where’s Sungmin? Is he being raped yet?”

Hankyung looked supremely unfazed by the math and pointed Sungmin out with his glass.

Kyuhyun started up from his stool when he saw a couple of men backing Sungmin up against the wall. Hankyung stopped him with a hand on his arm and a shake of his head, but it was the small smile playing about the corners of his lips that halted Kyuhyun in his steps. He twitched under Hankyung's firm grip as one of the burlier men sneered something at Sungmin. Her chin was tilted defiantly up at them, her nose pert and mouth thinned out as she snapped something back at them, and then the guy reached roughly out with his great hammy _paw_. Sungmin calmly took him out with a roundhouse kick.

The other guys backed away nervously, dragging their fallen comrade with them. In the mean time, Kyuhyun had to sit down, be thankful that Sungmin had opted for the jeans (indecently tight and low-slung, but nevertheless - _trousers_ ) tonight, and will away his sudden hard on while Hankyung smirked knowingly and Sungmin cheerfully sauntered towards him, an extra swing in her newly acquired hips.

“Nice jeans,” she said as she leaned over him to steal a sip of his whiskey on the rocks, “Stretchy. Good for kicking. Let’s go dancing!”

 

*

 

There was something completely _wrong_ about seeing his hyung - his noona - _Sungmin_ , anyway, curled up in the middle of a bed, buried in blankets and fortified by an impregnable fortress of pillows, shut away from the world and, well, him. Not that Kyuhyun would ever admit to having that thought, stray as it may have been. He'd come back from singing practice humming cheerfully to himself, until he'd flung the door open and Sungmin had _growled_ indistinctly before going quiet again, sending Kyuhyun, who prided himself on his unflappability, into something quite resembling panic.

"Hyung, hyung!" He whispered urgently, kneeling next to the bed, "Are you okay? What's wrong? What do you need? _Hyung_?!"

And then Sungmin suddenly rolled over to glare at him balefully and screeched, "I AM NOT A HYUNG RIGHT NOW!!!"

The epiphany hit Kyuhyun right between his eyes like a two-by-four and he immediately scooted backwards and said, slightly hysterically, "...oh. Oh. Oh my god." And then ran out to get the closest mother figure around, which happened to be Heechul as Eeteuk was doing Sukira.

That was, Kyuhyun realised when Heechul arrived and started laughing and laughing and laughing at them, staggering backwards and clutching the doorframe as he shook with the sheer force of his glee, not the best idea that he'd ever had. Kyuhyun wished violently that there was an algorithm he could use to turn Sungmin back into a boy, or to turn off the pain, or just to _switch Heechul off_ , but alas.

And so it was that Sungmin trembled in pain and shame in the middle of the bed, while Kyuhyun stood awkwardly between the bed and Heechul, wanting very much to go over and put a comforting arm around his, um, noona, except that he suspected doing so would prolong Heechul's laughter, and thus Sungmin's pain. All very logical, and it worked out in the end as Heechul, hiccuping with laughter, wandered away to the kitchen for the heating pad (the use of which was previously unknown) and a box of Tylenol with a glass of water.

Kyuhyun let out an audible breath of relief when the Tylenol and heat took effect. He flushed when Sungmin turned amused eyes on him, and then flushed even darker when he realised that he was _blushing_ , what the everlasting fuck, but then Sungmin smiled the same sweet old smile and reached out to take Kyuhyun's hand and mumble, "Thanks, you're a good dongsaeng," before falling back asleep.

Kyuhyun sat crouched on the bed next to Sungmin for a long time, staring at the way Sungmin's long, slender fingers fit into the spaces between his own.

 

*

 

"Hyung," said Kyuhyun in despair, downing another cup of soju like a drowning man, " _Hyung_."

"You're sort of drunk," Heechul pointed out sniffily, "And I don't even know if you're addressing me or someone who isn't even in this room." He then proceeded to slam down a shot of something neon pink and possibly lethal.

Kyuhyun gave him a scathing look, before pausing thoughtfully, then burying his head in his arms and groaning very eloquently.

Heechul smirked. "I thought so."

There was a series of muffled noises from the general vicinity of Kyuhyun's head, except that they were muffled and therefore incomprehensible.

"Sorry," said Heechul, "I distinctly heard the sounds of loser; it couldn't be you, could it?"

Faced with only miserable silence, Heechul sighed and relented. "Clearly I will have to sort this out for you, I miss a proper sparring partner. Well, come on then, tell Heechul-hyung all your problems and he will do magic."

Kyuhyun lifted his head to give Heechul an appropriately incredulous look; Heechul raised an eyebrow in the way that said "yes, but have you got any room for argument?" The younger man gave in.

"It's just that - I. Hyung. He's a girl now and I think I'm in - in love with him," Kyuhyun paused uncertainly, before going on, "but he's a girl and - am I in love with him as a girl or as a boy or -"

He came stumbling to a stop when Heechul slapped him over the head and favoured him with a condescending glare. "What are you, retarded? What does it matter if Sungmin's got boyparts or girlparts? Are you in love with _Sungmin_ or are you not?"

Kyuhyun abruptly looked like a deer caught in the headlights of an oncoming truck, and Heechul tapped his index finger impatiently against the glass table top until Kyuhyun let out an explosive sigh and said "fuck".

 

*

 

“HYUNG!” Kyuhyun shouted, doing what he would otherwise have avoided doing, had he been in the right frame of mind. Heechul glared at him from his perch on Hankyung’s lap, hands buried in Hankyung’s hair.

“Do you want to _die_ , Kyuhyun?” Heechul demanded, making to get off Hankyung’s lap, but was restrained by Hankyung’s hands on his hips. “Oh – you’re not supposed to _do_ that, stop having a mind of your own!” Heechul said irritably, batting at Hankyung’s hands. Giving up, Heechul turned a baleful glare on Kyuhyun, “Yes, what do you want, then? Make it quick.”

“I was thinking about what we were talking about the other night.”

Heechul twitched.

“You mean you _haven’t_ resolved it yet?”

“No! I mean, I thought I had, but then I thought about it some more and – I only just started thinking, um, feeling like this after Sungmin hyung turned into a girl, so it doesn’t necessarily presuppose that –”

Heechul held up a hand; Kyuhyun stopped babbling.

“Okay, number one: stop using big words, retard. Number two: you think too much. Number three: _you think too much_.”

“I do not; it doesn’t make _sense_ – what if he turns back into a boy?”

Heechul snorted unhelpfully.

 

*

 

“Hyukjae,” said Sungmin seriously, while she thrashed him some kind of violent shooting game.

“ _What_ ,” Hyukjae gritted out as he attempted not to die in too inglorious a manner.

“What happens if I don’t actually want to turn back into a boy?” she asked, as she snuck round a rock formation and shot Hyukjae’s remaining soldier in the back.

“WHAT?!” screeched Hyukjae, throwing his controller down onto the floor in shock and anger, “YOU SNEAK, WHAT WAS THAT?”

Sungmin sat back on her haunches and blinked at him.

Hyukjae widened his eyes threateningly at her.

Sungmin breathed slowly out through her nose, “I’d forgotten that boys can’t multitask.”

Hyukjae twitched. “Sorry, _pumpkin_ , did you say something important? Because you just _shot me in the back_. But do continue.”

“ARGH.” Said Sungmin, before stalking out of the room and slamming the door shut behind her.

A few minutes passed by, in which Hyukjae packed the controllers back into place, all the while muttering to himself about the insanity of girls, and then Kyuhyun opened the door cautiously and slipped into the room.

“Hyung, Sungmin just broke a vase in our room.”

“CRAZY.” Said Hyukjae emphatically.

“What the hell did you say to her? Because she’s going to break her guitar sooner or later and then she’ll be even angrier and then she’ll break _me_.”

“I didn’t say anything! She shot me in the back!”

“Maybe she was trying to tell you something important while she shot you in the back?”

“Why would she do that, we were shooting each other!”

“I don’t know, hyung, I’m not the girl here.”

“Fuck”, said Eunhyuk, and left the room.

“My sentiments exactly”, said Kyuhyun to the air, and wandered out to go play some more Starcraft.

“Whatever it was I did,” said Eunhyuk cautiously to the pink bundle on the bed, “I am terribly sorry. Please stop being angry, you are terrifying the magnae.”

Sungmin laughed helplessly, “You really have no idea what to say, do you?”

“I’m not the one with the words,” Eunhyuk smiled self-deprecatingly.

“No, I suppose you aren’t – good thing there’s someone else to do that for you, huh?” And then Sungmin sighed.

“What is it? What were you trying to say to me?”

“I said, what would happen if didn’t actually want to turn back into a boy.”

“…Sungmin, I know you love pink, but it’s totally okay to wear it as a boy, too. We don’t really judge you for it.”

“It’s not that. I _know_ that.”

Eunhyuk let himself fall onto his back next to her on the bed, the breath whuffing out of his lungs on impact with the mattress.

“Don’t tell me, it’s Kyuhyun.”

“And if it is?”

“I don’t think he’d mind at all if you told him you have to get fucked to turn back into a boy, Min. And you definitely wouldn’t mind it either.”

“But what about _after_ ,” Sungmin said quietly. “He’s never paid me this much attention, before. I don’t want it to stop.”

Eunhyuk hummed comfortingly.

“And – cramping sucked, but he’s never held my hand like that before and it was lovely and I just – don’t want to lose that.”

“Min. No offence, but you are so gay.”

“I’m a girl!” Sungmin said indignantly.

“Same difference,” said Eunhyuk airily, “Did you want to hold his hand in a loving and disgustingly married fashion when you were a boy, though?”

“No, mostly I just wanted to bonk him silly. And then hug him.” Sungmin sighed, and curled herself around her pillow.

“Ah, that’s just the skinship talking. All right, so you’ve always been disgustingly besotted with him.”

“You’re being singularly unhelpful, Hyuk.”

There is a pause as Eunhyuk chants “Crazy Crazy Crazy” in his head like a sutra, possibly to soothe himself.

“I don’t get it,” Eunhyuk says after a while, “Why don’t you just tell him? Wouldn’t it be better to know than to – you know, be a girl forever?”

“Being a girl isn’t all that bad, Hyuk,” Sungmin said absently, chewing at the ends of her hair, “But! He doesn’t like me that way, he’s – oh, it’s so confusing.”

“You don’t say,” Eunhyuk says drily, “Look. Why don’t I go talk to him for you? You know, sort of ‘hello magnae how long have you had the hots for our Sungmin here?’ and then you can go jump him.”

“Isn’t that a bit suspicious, though? You asking him that sort of thing.”

“Don’t worry about it.” Eunhyuk said airily, “Uncle Hyukjae’s going to put you out of your misery.”

“I hope you know that doesn’t exactly fill me with great confidence.” But Sungmin had that reluctant smile on his face that said that he’d given in.

 

*

 

Because Eunhyuk was a genius and also because he’d seen Kyuhyun come back staggeringly drunk after going out with Heechul, he went to talk to the man.

“Hey, hyung.” Eunhyuk said casually as they flipped through shelves of new comics in the store near the dorms.

“Mm?” Heechul said absently.

“Sungmin’s been a girl for month, now.”

“I know that.” Heechul scrutinised a volume before putting it back with a sigh.

Eunhyuk sighed as well and handed him another book. “Isn’t management getting jumpy?”

“Mm, Eeteuk’s got that look on his face again. Thanks.” Heechul added the book to his pile.

“Do you know why Sungmin’s been a girl for a month?”

Heechul gave him a narrow-eyed look.

“Because Kyuhyun’s a stupid little boy, if that’s what you’re after,” he said.

“Oh, good,” Eunhyuk said in relief, “I was afraid I might have been wrong about that.”

 

*

 

Kyuhyun sometimes thought that going solo might be good for him and his blood pressure. He was too young to have hypertension. He was too young to be locked into a confined space with – okay, he was always going to be too _anything_ to be locked into a dimly lit, confined space with the subject of his recent masturbatory fantasies.

“LET US OUT!” He yelled again, pounding the door of their linens closet.

“NOT UNTIL SUNGMIN GETS TURNED BACK INTO A BOY!!!” Heechul yelled back.

Kyuhyun flailed helplessly as Sungmin curled further into herself where she was seated with her knees drawn up to her chest on a stack of blankets.

“WE CAN’T – WE’RE RIGHT ON TOP OF ALL THE CLEAN LAUNDRY!” Kyuhyun tried, his voice cracking.

“THEN YOU CAN WASH IT.” Heechul called back.

“IT WOULDN’T BE PROPER!” Kyuhyun was really desperate by now.

“COCKBLOCKING YOURSELF ISN’T PROPER.”

Okay, Kyuhyun was normally a pacifist, but he seriously wanted to blow the entirety of SME up with a WMD now.

“Don’t listen to him,” he said frantically to Sungmin, who’d emerged from her cocoon to aim a glare at him, “He talks _crazy_.”

Kyuhyun hoped against all hopes that the blush rising up to his cheeks could not be seen in the dim light of the closet. Because Kyuhyun’s life sucked, Sungmin was now unfolding herself from her seat and crawling towards where he was standing, wedged between the door and a waist-high stack of winter quilts.

“U-um,” Kyuhyun stammered, wide-eyed, as Sungmin reached a small, slender hand up to rest on his bare knee. “Hyung?”

“Shhhh,” Sungmin shushed soothingly, before saying in a louder, though no less authoritative voice, “Heechul. I’m going to blow him, and then you’re going to let us out.”

Kyuhyun made a sound like a strangled goose while Heechul laughed and knocked against the door in his glee.

“Right, we’ll just leave you to it then. Be back in five.”

“ _Five_?!” Kyuhyun said involuntarily, insulted at Heechul’s lack of faith in his endurance, before regaining some of his sanity and pushing at Sungmin. “Hyung, I – what?”

Sungmin sat back on her haunches and tilted her head at him invitingly. Then again, Sungmin eating rice right now would probably look inviting to Kyuhyun.

“Don’t you want me to?” she asked, sweet and low and completely unfair.

“I, um,” Kyuhyun said awkwardly.

“I thought so,” Sungmin said smugly, and reached into his boxers.

 

*

 

They were let out by Heechul, as promised, and safely installed in their bedroom when Kyuhyun looked awkwardly at Sungmin and realised something very important.

“Hyung, you’re still a girl.”

“Surprise.” Sungmin said pleasantly, sprawled over her bed, knees falling apart.

Kyuhyun swallowed drily and asked, “How did you know how to do that?”

Sungmin opened her eyes lazily before they drooped shut again, “I don’t fuck only girls, you know.”

“…Oh.”

Silence reigned again for a while before Kyuhyun reached out hesitantly and rested his fingers on the inside of Sungmin’s knee. She opened her eyes again before rolling closer to where he was seated on the edge of her bed, nuzzling happily into his hip.

“Sungmin,” Kyuhyun said in a rush, because if he didn’t it would never get out, “I’ve never, I don’t know how to.” And then he turned red again, and decided promptly that he’d fulfilled his quota of embarrassment for the next three years.

“I don’t put out until the third date.” Sungmin said softly to him, and smiled at his spluttering, “But I’ll teach you then.”

 


End file.
